For college, I have to write a personal statement?

by Daneel Ariantho
Question by entertainment fan: For college, I have to write a private statement?
I have written a private statement, but it’s not very excellent since I’m not excellent at English. It has to include where I see for myself in 5 years’ time, personally as well as professionally. If you may possibly tell me what you reckon of the following private statement, that would be excellent.
Private Statement
I am a hardworking student at Inner College of Commerce. I am responsibility an HNC in Handing out and Information Technology, and with completing the course, I hope to look for an personnel job.
In the past, I have done voluntary work at a coffee shop as well as in a charity shop. This gave me the opportunity to experience the planet of work and deal with people. I have a part-time job which involves making drinks in a coffee shop, and this has given me more experience.
In 5 years’ time, I hope to be in a stable relationship and earning money from a full-time job. I still expect to live with my family.
Best answer:
Answer by CaoimhÃn
Writing Academic Essays and Reports
Guidelines for University Students
http://www.korepetycje.com/Essays_Articles/
http://www.acts.twu.ca/lbr/research_essays.htm
http://www.aber.ac.uk/media/Modules/writess.html
http://www.rlf.org.uk/fellowshipscheme/writing/essayguide.cfm
Add your own answer in the comments!
Category: Answers and Questions
Hi.
I wrote my private statement last year. First of all it is worth looking online at College/University sites for tips on what and how to write. UCAS.com is the main site in the UK.
Private statements are supposed to be ‘private’, hence the name, and the first section of your statement is rather generic. When you say that you “hope to look for an personnel job”, it might be better to be more specific. Perhaps say that you aspire to work in a certain field, something that you are interested in? Whether it be computers, human assets etc.
The section in this area voluntary work is fantastic, but you may possibly also mention the positives of helping people, rather than “dealing” with people. It might be in your interest to look in a thesaurus. For example, you may possibly use “interacting” with people, rather than “dealing” with people.
As for the last section, you may need to provide slightly more detail. As I suggested for the first section, instead of stating that you “hope to look for an personnel job”, you may possibly link this in and say that “In five years time I aspire to be working towards financial stability in (the field of work that you have chosen) striving for both private and career satisfaction. (or something like that!).
Hope that helped a bit.
Excellent luck!
xxxxxxxx
try this site http://writersnetwork.schools.officelive.com …..these guys can help you with your assignments.:)
they are excellent and the service is economical…