*Do Not Open If You Are Over Sensitive* So I’m pretty sure I know why I got this last night what do you think?
Question by Dave C: *Do Not Open If You Are Over Sensitive* So I’m pretty sure I know why I got this last night what do you think?
So the past few weeks now my wife has been continually conversing on Facebook with a boyfriend from her past that while I wasn’t thrilled with it this was her boyfriend at 14 so that was a long time ago.
Anyways to two nights ago the NC State wont he NCAA Championship and with her being from NC she of course was posting ya Carolina crap all over her Facebook and talking to friends one being the ex boyfriend.
So I asked her to let me see it if it’s so harmful and she said no you’ll take it out of context. This sent a red flag up to me and while yes I was sleazy and I did spy on her if she had nothing to hide why hide it.
So I download the Facebook app on my iPhone and go into her account and realize not only is she talking to this guy she is also talking to her over the phone AGAIN one thing I was really not cool with.
The conversion also talked about how he shouldn’t be jealous of her skills and that sense he isn’t going to ask to try them he shouldn’t be upset about it.
I was extremely upset about this and basically told her I was done and as soon as I can I’m out. So of course she removes this guy from her Facebook and whether or not she is still talking to him on the phone I don’t know.
So last night I get woken up late at night to her being playful with me (sexually) and she goes down on my orally something she NEVER does and also completes me orally which is something she also NEVER does.
What was this about I mean seriously she basically is cheating on me with this guy she just physically hasn’t done anything and she goes ahead and does this last night what is up ladies? guys? what are your opinions?
P.S. Sorry it’s so long
To the poster who said I was exploiting her did I leave any names, do you know me, do you know her, do you know where I live?
nope sorry I hardly consider this exploiting her
Best answer:
Answer by Miss BHave
She is just trying to sway you back in the direction of wanting to stay with her by doing something she KNOWS you want but never get. Its like the bait and switch. She wont just magically stop talking to him like its nothing, especially if they are friends. What she did was not right, and you were right to see the red flags because she was laying out the goods. She wanted to feel desired by someone else, it does happen when you are in long term committed relationships and marriages. But acting (even if by typing) on it is no good. Its not like she got checked out by some random guy and she felt good about it, she at any time can act on her little comments to this guy because he is a real person and they have a real history, which is dangerous. I dont blame you for being so angry, but maybe you should try talking to her to see if there are things you should work on together so it does not happen again. She did not actually cheat, but be very cautious if you stay with her, because that does not mean she wont try it and just cover her tracks better. Once that trust is broken, its hard to get back…And people can forgive, but they never forget.
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You discovered that she was talking to him on the phone. There’s not much to take out of context from that. Either she was or she was not talking to him on the phone, plain and simple. She did not want you to find out, but you did and then became upset. She does not want you to be upset about it, so she did something she thought would make you happy and get your mind off of this mysterious friendship. Seems to me that is exactly what happened.
She wants you to forgive her. Women know the way to get a guy to forgive them or get over something really bad is through sex. I don’t think you should leave her over this.. just let her know it better never happen again or you’re done with her.
I wouldn’t like that either. I’m sure she loves you though, I wouldn’t worry too much.
She did that to shut you up about her ‘other man’. It’s kind of like throwing a scrap from the table to a dog so he won’t whine. She is not being honest with you.
Go with your gut instincts. You’re not enjoying this relationship, and I doubt that’s gonna change anytime soon. Too many odd trust issues going on. When it becomes more trouble than it’s worth, just let her go.
Oh it is simple. She knows you caught her doing things she should not do. So she is trying to use sex to get back on your good side. Please don’t let this woman manipulate you with sex!
Guard your heart if she was already unfaithful in a way you consider disrespectful and wants to hide it from you. I agree with her about that part in that if someone is straying from you she has an issue she cannot put her finger on, it is up to you to hold onto it and work it through with her, and talking to another and hiding it probably means she is being emotionally unfaithful and feeling a need for something extra without being able to express it properly. She needs to get off of him and talk to you. Someone on the other side of that pc from the age of 14 probably is not going to know her the way that you do, unless he has been talking with her for years, more than you have.
She’s trying to make it up to you, hoping that you won’t leave.
wow im not married but you guys r over sensitive! you jus need to look at yourself and see if theres something you are doing wrong. dont get offensive, she wasnt cheating on you its called FLIRTING, which every gal will do if her man isnt giving her the attention she deserves. how bout you step your game up and begin flirting with her and being playful. she wants attention.
the oral part jus goes to show you how much she does like you but if you continue this BS you will lose the greatest woman you’ve got-step it up and try new things in bed so that you are the only guy on her mind and there wont b any need to get on fb
you are showing major insecurity-which advice from me your friend-is a downhill move—you needa get back into confidence, your her man you have her tied to you thru marriage. shes urs, and if shes pleasing you all these ways you can return the favor, and threatening her that you will lesve, will break your relationship rather than you showing her and remindin her why you are married to her and why she chose you in the first place.
I would apologize for your behavior and assumptions and make it up to her, go have some fun with her.
shes definately cheating on you!
My wife did this exact same thing
You must be able to read my mind this almost was exactly the same scenario what happend to me i can believe it
Yeah she is definately cheating. The oral she gave is to cover up for her Guilt and shame. Dont trust her she may do it again
I mean think about it what she did on face book etc is a no go zone and to cover it all up i mean you do the math on tht one it’s not rocket science
That was private between you & her. Why would you exploit yrselves that way? Surely she deserves to have some privacy about what she does with you. Why are you treating like it’s nothing? Some women hate doing that to guys & just pretend, purely because they love the guy. As she hasn’t done it much b4, she probably won’t again when she realises yu r telling the world.
She doesn’t need you, obviously others want her but there she is - loving you.
So she talked to her ex, so what? She’s not yr hostage is she? So she phoned him & he phoned her. What you want her to wear a gag & a chastity belt too?
Grow up! She’s given herself to YOU. She tried to be special for YOU. You should think yrself lucky that she bothered. Many other women would have just gone off with him & not bothered to care about you.
She loves you. You men are so annoying - what’s the point?
She wants to be forgiven and thinks you’re calling her bluff. You’ve talked the talk…now follow through. I think after all the huffing around and losing it about this man-friend in her life you haven’t got the nerve to up and leave over an online friendship. If you do then you really are a man of your word after all the repeated questions of the same situation. It sounds like you’re both too stubborn for each other anyway.
She NEVER does?! Bro, it is time to bone up and start acting like a man and a husband. No oral, and talking to some other dude, screw that! It is time to bring the rain. Guns of Navarone, Superfly TnT! She´s not the problem, you are. A woman wants a man, and not want you´ve become. So take control, make it happen, and get it done.
I think she feels guilty knowing she was in the wrong. She is trying to make things up to you so that you won’t leave her. The fact that you allowed her to perform oral and to complete has now sent her the message that you intend to stay, which of course you will. I don’t believe this was an issue to divorce over, but it will definitely cause trust issues and it will take time for her to regain your trust.
This is merely my opinion, but I don’t understand married people having separate facebook accounts or myspace accounts. Why not have one as a couple? My husband and I have a joint myspace. We have pictures of the two of us together and the fact that we are HAPPILY MARRIED is posted all over it. I would ask my spouse to be added to the account, or to remove her account altogether. Again, just my opinion.
She knows her talking to this guy is something you won’t like. Yet she wants to hide it and do it anyway? Why? Why is it worth it to her? No friendship on Facebook is worth creating conflict in a marriage. She needs to realize this. I agree with the others; it sounds like she’s manipulating you a little with the oral stuff because she knows you like it. Also not cool. A while back my husband found an old picture of an ex-boyfriend of mine with his shirt off (I’d forgotten about it, it was so old). While he didn’t act upset or ask me to get rid of it, I put it in the trash right in front of him. I do not need that picture anymore, and your wife does not need to talk on the phone with her high school sweetheart (or whatever he’s called).
I would try to sit her down in a very matter of fact way, without becoming angry, and just telling her this is not OK with you, and that this is seriously compromising your ability to trust her. Unless she is serious denial, she should see your point and agree to be more forthcoming.